I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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