I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize