He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
