You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I skipped work to stalk him.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize