Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
