glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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