K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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