You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize