I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
