I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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