Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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