I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Still dying that you shit outside
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
