That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
my sisters under your porch take her home
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
