I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
