On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
