Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize