omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
