i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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