he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
