All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize