The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
