the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
