Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
