just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
