I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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