How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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