Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
