Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
