he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
