On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize