it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
