Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
