okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
