You're a womanizer and a bitch.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You pole danced in your parka.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
