bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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