I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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