My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize