I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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