Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
