I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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