only if we run a train.
done.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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