So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
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