and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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