who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize