Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
