He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Randomize