I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
