He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
