We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
