Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
