I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
