Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
