i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
