where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
