i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize