that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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