You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Randomize
