come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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