Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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