THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
