Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
