Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
