Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
