wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
